The Real Difference Between Fit And Fat

“It’s all about taking action and not being lazy. So you do the work, whether it’s fitness or whatever. It’s about getting up, motivating yourself and just doing it.” ~ Kim Kardashian

Let me just get it out of the way right now. To me, fit means being able to do things: climb a mountain, run away from danger, out last an attacker as you defend yourself, swim to safety, and harvest food. If you are really fit, you can do all these things while holding your infant. Fit is about being able to survive then it’s about helping others survive. I go into detail about how I feel about this in the article The #1 Reason to Train.

But let’s face it, nobody gives a shit about surviving. (There are a few of us, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t the ones reading this.) They just want to look good in a bathing suit. They want to look fit not actually be fit. So this is what I am addressing in this article. Why some people look fit and why some people don’t.

What it’s not.

If you are one of these people that have struggled with your weight for years no matter what exercise regime you incorporated, diet you tried, supplements you’ve taken, shakes you drank, or personally trainers you’ve hired, I’ve got good news for you. It’s not because you are lazy, undisciplined, lack willpower or any of the other bullshit people who have never struggled with weight loss tell you.

The fact that you have tried all these things, even if they didn’t work, should be proof to you that you are not lazy, that you are not afraid of hard work. The reason all these things have failed is because they are wrong. Most of them are schemes, businesses that don’t give a shit about you and just want to sell you a product.

Here is a little story.

Say I want a way to clean my floor. I see someone selling a floor cleaning product that happens to look a lot like a stick. It doesn’t make sense at first how will a stick clean a floor? But the salesman shows me picture upon picture of clean floors and says that they were the result of the very product he has for sale. I’m starting to believe it, but it seems too good to be true. Then, he shows me testimonials from people who had dirty floors but bought this product and got the results they had been searching for. One person talks about how her spouse is always upset with her because the floor is dirty. She said that once she was able to adequately clean her floor, her spouse was always in a better mood and she never had to deal with his complaints. The stick made her home life better. Coincidentally, I am going through the exact same thing at home and would love to get the very results this lady giving the testimonial got. This scenario hits home, and I buy the stupid stick. I get the stick home and it kind of works, but not really. I don’t get the results I hoped for.

I tell my friends, and they say encouraging things like, “you can do it” or “don’t give up” so I keep going and trying like they said, but don’t get any better results. More people give me advice but are harsh about it. They say stuff like “you don’t want it bad enough” or “it takes discipline” Meanwhile, they have maids, and they never have to clean their floor themselves. Some of the people saying these things have never even had a dirty floor in their life.

I get tired of trying. My floor never comes clean. No matter how many people say that this cleaning stick works, it just doesn’t for me. I get sad and depressed and decided to give up. I am convinced that there has to be another way. While I try to figure out the next thing I am going to try, I keep the stick in the storage closet to keep it out of the way, next to the broom.

So why are others fit and you aren’t?

It’s easy. You ready? The reason other people are fit is because their coping mechanism is not food. That’s it!

I don’ have any proof, but I would think it’s safe to say that everyone has shit they are dealing with? They hate their job. Their daddy didn’t love them enough. They were abused. They saw horrible shit in the war. They miss the war. Their mother died when they were young.

When I first started writing this, I thought that there would be a small percentage of the population that didn’t have problems, but as I started listing them, I realized that we all have issues. Every single one of us. So there are two types of people then. Those who deal with their problems positively and those who deal with it negatively. We are here to talk about the negative coping techniques.

There are all kinds of ways to cope with issues. Drugs, alcohol, work, traveling, keeping busy, exercise, smoking, porn, and sex are just a few. None of these make you fat, though. People like us, people who’s coping mechanism is food; we are the unfit ones because the thing that makes us feel good also makes us fat.

Have you ever asked a smoker to quit cold turkey? Have you ever seen a smoker try? What about a womanizer who can’t control himself or a workaholic who can’t not work. What about a gym rat who feels they can’t go a day without a workout? Ask these people to give up their coping mechanism and see what happens. They’ll pitch a fit and come up with every excuse as to why they don’t have to.

If you wanted to, you could accuse them of being weak or undisciplined, but you’re not an ass.

So what is the solution?

Sorry but I’m not sure. I will say the first step would be identifying what the issue you are dealing with is and maybe kick it in the ass? This may involve hiring a coach or seeing a therapist.

One thing you may want to do is change your coping mechanism. I have had the privilege of being closely involved with a couple of recovering drug addicts, and one thing I noticed in my relationship with them is they love coffee. They drink gallons of it.

It is apparent to me that part of their recovery was to switch their coping mechanism from something that had a detrimental effect on their lives to one that was less damaging. This is what we need to do with food in order successfully lose weight.

I have often seen people try to quit smoking and fail miserably. I have also seen people quit successfully by switching to nicotine gum. While going cold turkey may be possible, I feel that it only works for a few people or that its results are only temporary, which means it didn’t actually work. I firmly believe that in order to give up one vice you have to replace it. Nicotine gum and coffee are two good examples.

The solution here is to face and deal with your issues, If you are not going to do that, then swap out your crutch for one that doesn’t make you fat. Just keep in mind that too much of anything isn’t good for you.

The big take away.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you are unfit because you don’t have willpower, are undisciplined, or are weak! I know, personally, know someone who has an incredible physique. He could lift up his shirt any time of the year, and he will have a six-pack. He has been this way for years, age doesn’t seem to affect him. Here is what else I know about him. He smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, watches porn like it was just invented, and cheats on his wife any chance he gets. If you look at him, you’d say he definitely looks fit, but I have to ask you — do you think he is a pillar of strength, that he has unlimited willpower, and is disciplined? He is as fucked up as any of us, maybe even more so, but his vices are calorie free.

I wrote a book that doesn’t have anything to do with health and wellness! If you are a fan of magical realism, please check out my novella on

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